Snake Wine Shooters On The Li River

The next stop on our grand tour was Guilin. Described by our city guide Carol as a “small town” of 600,000, it was the most beautiful of the 4 cities we visited. While still very Chinese in its character, the majority of the city was restored about 8 years ago so all the city squares, streets and buildings had the neat and manicured look of suburbia – a stark contrast from the worn, working class neighborhoods and new gleaming high rises or Beijing and Xian.

While there are many temples and Pagodas to explore in Guilin (I need to see another pagoda like I need a hole in my head) the main draw of this city and surrounding area are the breathtaking mountain ranges that surround the city and adjacent Li river.

We arrived at the boat launch early in the morning the day after our arrival. Like everywhere else we’ve been, this was another one of those tourist spots with the infrastructure to efficiently channel large herds of tourists for their once-in-a-lifetime experiences.

We boarded one of the fifteen 70 person capacity boats sitting at the dock and found a seat at one of the 8 person tables arranged on the lower, enclosed and air conditioned decks where we would later be served lunch.

The 5 hour cruise started without much delay and suddenly I found myself in a new part of China. The industrial monstrosities of Beijing and Xian quickly faded away as we navigated down a river that snaked into the countryside, inhabited by people who relied more on the wealth of the land than the pocketbooks of tourists.

I joined the rest of the people on the boat and quickly made my way to the open air upper deck where we had an unobstructed view of the mountain ranges, animals and locals who lived and worked on the river.

The boat seemed to tip from side to side as people hurried from port to starboard and back trying to photograph all of curiosities we passed.

Some of the highlights included:

• Majestic mountain ranges – the ones that the Chinese scroll artists seem to be imagining when painting those mystic fog shrouded peaks.
• The goat herders, farmers and fisherman crouched on the shore tending their crops, daily catch or unruly goats
• The parasitic “Kling-ons” who would latch their long bamboo rafts to the side of the moving boat and try to hock their cheap wares to the amused passengers on board.
• The groups of children who would swim up to the boat, hands outstretched, yelling for spare coins to be thrown to them
• Tired water buffalo cooling off in the water.
• Boats with Cormorant birds, napping after a long night of fishing. (There are still fisherman who practice this ancient technique where trained birds dive underwater and bring fish back to their master. Rings placed around their necks prevent them from swallowing their catch.)

All of these curiosities provided a good 3 hours of picture taking opportunities, but after our onboard lunch, a few of us were looking for another diversion to help us pass the remaining 2 hours of our voyage.

That’s when I noticed the snake wine.

During her introduction of Guilin the day before, our tour guide mentioned some of the local Chinese medicine cures that are integral to the health care in the region. One of these medicines was a locally produced moonshine of snake soaked rice wine.

I didn’t actually expect to come across this exotic brew but there it was at the bar, a large bottle of “3 Snake Wine” with no less than all 3 of said snakes submerged in the bottle, their health-giving essence slowly merging with the slightly yellow tinged rice liquor.

Oh man, I gotta have me some of this snake hooch!

Cancer? Heart Disease? Impotence? Not in my lifetime! I heard it even cures general malaise and crankiness. Obviously I HAD to drink some… if only for Melissa’s benefit!

So I went around to some of the other people in the tour group and found 4 other accomplices to split the cost for a bottle.

Our bottle which was slightly smaller than the display only contained one snake but the label still claimed that cobra, rattlesnake and field snake were all used in its production. Thank God I thought. As its common knowledge that Cobra is the healthiest and most tasty!

By this time, our interest in ancient Chinese medicine produced a small gathering of curious spectators.

We each poured shot sized servings and prepared our beer chasers.

Down the hatch!

Wow that was nasty… yet smooth at the same time!

The taste would best be described as a combination of Japanese Sake and cheap tequila with subtle tones of formaldehyde and fish jerky.

Sojii, my new buddy from Toronto compared the flavor to snake ass which now that I think about it, is probably spot on though I’ve never actually tasted the ass of a snake.

After waiting a good 5 minutes, just to be sure we didn’t all keel over and die miserable and painful deaths, we finished the bottle. My mom even took a shot. Go mom!

Feeling slightly inebriated, probably due to my new found cancer fighting ability and virility, I went back to the upper deck to enjoy the rest of the cruise.

New Pictures of: LI RIVER CRUISE AND SOME HILLS AROUND GUILIN