I give up. I can’t argue with my lovely, intelligent and ultra-persuasive wife any longer. Even my usual tactic of “ignore and retreat” doesn’t seem to be working. You see, she’s been hounding me for 3 weeks now to write this Christmas letter describing all the fantastic adventures we’ve had this year. Furthermore, she demands that it be “clever.”
I have no idea where she got the idea that I was clever. Wordy? Sure. Incoherent? Possibly. But Clever? Honey, 43 emails a day does not a clever writer make. But alas, I’m here… forced to compress a year’s worth of life experiences into a single page of “clever” prose…
So where do I start? I could begin by telling you about my 2 week trip to China with my mom and grandfather while shamelessly promoting my travel blog (which, by the way, is a rollicking good read, available for your enjoyment now at http://alanabdine.blogspot.com). Or maybe I can tell y’all about our trip to The Big Island of Hawaii and our lava-hunting adventures that culminated in us becoming slightly lost, dehydrated and dizzy from inhaling too much volcano dust.
Another direction I considered was the “reality TV” approach where I could recite a list of normal, everyday life events such as how our teaching and sales jobs are going or about the challenges we’ve endured in our quest to become parents. But as I wrote and crumpled the numerous versions of this letter, I realized that the best way for us to tell you our story would be over a couple of margaritas at our favorite Tex-Mex dive.
So for lack of a more “clever” intro I’ll take a cue from Letterman and present you with the:
Top Ten Reasons To Get Your Rear To Austin (Right Quick!)
10. DUCK TOUR! (nuff said)
9. You can play a game of “you know what” with Moby. (hint: flashlight)
8. There might be a band or two…or 50 that’s playing tonight.
7. South Congress is getting cooler by the day…come quick before it becomes to hip for even you!
6. Oh and don’t forget about downtown. It’s not just for drunk 20 year olds anymore…
5. Alamo Draft House: The best movie theater in the country? Town Lake Loop: The best urban hike and bike trail on earth? 1.2 million bats darkening the skies during their nightly exodus from under the Congress Bridge: The weirdest city tourist attraction in the Western Hemisphere? YOU BE THE JUDGE!
4. You will finally be able to fulfill your lifelong fantasy to use “fix’n to go,” “y’all”, “dang”, “whoowee”, “that there” and “ever did see” in normal, everyday conversation and have someone completely understand what you are talking about. Example: WHOOOOWEEE! That there’s the biggest dang Wal-Mart I ever did see. I’m fix’n to go. Y’all two wanna come?
3. Taste that? That’s pure liquid margarita joy found at Guero’s Taco Bar.
2. An extra five pounds will fill you out nicely…The Salt Lick BBQ can help!
1. Oh my gaaaawd… There’s Matthew McConaughey! And he’s playing bongo drums naked!
