Rose Bowl 2006

I have to admit. I didn't deserve to be at the Rose Bowl. I WANTED to be at the Rose Bowl. Boy did I WANT to. But deserve? Hmm...

How can anyone deserve to be handed two beautiful, lovely, shiny rose bowl tickets? I haven't been THAT good this year. Certainly there are more deserving people than I?

But here they are... "People paid $3500 for tickets just like these." I think to myself.

Hands begins to tremble.

"Very rich donors have invested big dollars... for 35 years.... waiting for this opportunity... and couldn't get tickets."

Sweat begins to bead on forehead.

Alan.... remind yourself to thank Carol Baker for brokering this transaction...she has worked a miracle for you.

And so my day begins:

8:40 AM: I wake up. Vision of sugar plums and crystal national championship trophies dance in my head. My head is groggy and my blood sugar is all jacked up from the countless grams of poor quality carbs ingested over the last 3 weeks. I can feel my pancreas. It is cursing me.

9:02 AM: First sip of coffee. Take that pancreas…you little bastard. I eat some whole grain goody two shoes cereal that my mom has in the cupboard.... Blood sugar levels stabilize… why am I so growly this morning. It’s national championship day yo!

10:29 AM: On the road to the IE (Inland Empire for all you out-of-the-loop Texas folk) Liver now starts hurting. I wonder. “Is this because I’m turning 31 and my body is well on its way to an early death? Or did I just drink too much in Vegas on New Years?”

10:47 AM: I pick up a bottle of Champagne at Trader Joes in Redlands. Presumptuous? Maybe… but if I can get Rose Bowl tickets then ANYTHING can happen.

12:01 PM: Limo is now officially late. I’m agitated. Blood Pressure Rises.

12:03 PM: Limo arrives. Heart attack avoided. Now in good spirits again. Emery, my brother-in-law and LA sporting event compadre, and I hop in the white stretch Lincoln and depart from his house on our Grand Journey to the Rose Bowl.

12:33 PM: We take a quick detour off the hwy to one of the few L&L Hawaiian BBQ’s on the mainland. Hot Dogs and Potato Chips are for amateurs. There’s nothing like tailgating with Chicken Musubi and Raw Ahi Poke!

1:38 PM: We pick up Dax and Stacey at their burnt orange bungalow in Burbank. Yes, they’re hardcore horns fans. Surprise! They contribute home made taquitos and appetizer meatballs to the mix. The party has officially started.

2:44 PM: We are stuck in the ass that is Rose Bowl game day traffic. We are becoming agitated and some of us have to pee. I watch ants scurry along the ground faster than the car is moving. Desperate scalpers and fans meander through the cars looking for tickets.

3:31 PM: I experience the agony and the ecstasy of a Rose Bowl portable toilet. Note to self… find a bush next time.

3:55 PM: We meet up with some friends who hired a bus to shuttle them, their 25 companions and a whole slew of tailgating accoutrements to the game. We enjoy a “pre-game nerve-calming beer” with them.

4:16 PM: We fight through the crowds massed around the gates. Wow! I notice the sea of orangebloods in attendance.

6:15 PM: Game is underway… It’s surreal… very exciting/nerve-racking. A small cluster of us honrs fans gets into a shouting match with some old fart USC Alumni who are whining that we won’t sit down in front of them. Seems they forgot they were at a football game…errr, a NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP football game. Sad really… the effects of senility…

7:10 PM: Halftime. Horns are leading… good game though. Both teams came to play. Score isn’t as high as I was guessing… expected another touchdown or two in the first half, but no matter. Our team showed up. Goody. It’s marching band time… Now THAT’S entertainment!

8:54 PM: 6:42 in the fourth quarter and USC is up 38-26. Ugh. My head starts hurting. So much scoring on both sides… but USC has done it a few more times. Doesn’t look good.

9:25 PM: UT Wins!!!! Oh my gawd! The greatest game I’ve ever seen… Vince Young is amazing! UT 41. Heisman winners 38!

10:10: Finally get out of the Stadium… Post game festivities begin…and so does this entry. “The eyes of texas are upon you…”

Not moving to So Cal (just yet)

So the big decision of December 2005 is that we're not ready (just yet) to move back to So Cal. Of course, everyone thinks we're crazy. Maybe "crazy" is the wrong word. Mad! is a better adjective (in the British sense of course).

So for historical record, let me lay out the details of the legendary mistake we are about to make so that everyone has ample opportunity to help us make the correct decision before it’s too late.

1. There has been an extraordinarily generous offer made to us involving a gorgeous house at an unbelievable price.

2. There are multiple, potentially (very) lucrative, career upgrade opportunities that have been laid out in front of us… but require us to move to So Cal.

3. All of our family units have made it abundantly clear how much they would like us to be within driving distance to them.

4. We happen to agree with said family units that it would be quite cool to live within driving distance to them.

5. Melissa and I have decided that the next great adventure in our lives requires a miniaturized version of us (hopefully with Melissa’s dominant genes). This of course brings up the conventional wisdom that it is gobs easier to manage a child (i.e. dump the kid off at grandma’s house) while living in close proximity to the fam than it is to try and do it solo in some God forsaken cowtown like Austin, TX.

6. Oh, and don’t let me forget that California is chock full of fun things to do like Snowboarding, surfing, various motor sports that require dirt roads and knobby tires, Star Gazing (the Brad Pitt kind… there’s obviously too much smog in the air to see the swirling mass of hot gas variety), Disneyland and earthquakes.

7. And friends! We really really like our friends (Big ups to all our So Cal friends who are reading this).

A rational person would look at this list and say “golly Alan and Melissa” what the heck are you thinking staying in George Dubya Bushland USA? Do you really want to be known as a Red Stater? Even worse… A REPUBLICAN? (foreboding music fires up in the background).

But alas, we never claimed to be rational. I mean we’re evangelical Christians for Buddha’s sake! How could anyone ever confuse us for rational human beings. Now sarcasm? That’s another situation altogether. Sarcasm is OK. I’m fairly certain there are plenty of references to the holiness of sarcasm in the bible… at least the translation that I read…

Y’know… it really comes down to one thing.

There happens to be a place where you can get really good margaritas down on South Congress Street.

Sorry family, friends, career and house.

Drunkenness wins.